This Side of Sanity

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by Colin Hodgson

I wrote this after I saw the film, “Shirley Valentine”.

You think back to when you were seventeen
and all the emotions that that age brings
you read the agony column in the magazine
and listened to friends who’d got diamond rings
from boys who never knew that they had been
snared by ploys, promises, hopes and other things
that girls use, they kiss, they pout, their hair they preen
to get wants for which their heart constantly sings
but casting aside what it will really mean
a dull life constrained by tight purse strings
you never, they never faced the reality
you dreamed but then acted so blindly
but oh why, oh why wouldn’t you see
that, that is not how it would forever be
that the days would lose their variety
until excitement comes only via the tv
and for all but the rich, this is how it will be
they drink champagne in gay Paree
but you try to manage with little money
and shop where you can “Buy One, Get One Free”
for you no strawberries and cream for tea
you knew about, but ignored the drudgery

you pretended a life of married bliss
would stem from the boyfriend’s doorstep kiss
you determined to change from being a Miss
but all the time you knew that this
could not fulfil the apparent promise;

But how did you expect it to turn out?
with the kids and the bills to worry about
romance and the thrills get forgotten about
and when the sweet bliss begins to run out
and reality kills love, to bring emotional drought
some turn to pills and some scream and shout;

And then you try to blame your man
even though he may do the best he can
but things didn’t turn out quite like your plan
kids came along and fun hit the fan
the dream’s faded out like last year’s tan
life’s cold and dull like yesterday’s flan
it’s almost as though there’s a happiness ban

did you or your friends on the teenage scene
really believe it would be love evergreen?
what did you think your life would mean?
all eclairs to eat but no floors to clean
all babies that smile but no mess so green
but you pretended the wedding dream
would make you a cake all covered in cream
at least, that’s how you wanted it to seem;

No, you say, it is some evil male plot
but really you nagged your way to your lot
your dream turned sour and this life you got
your entrapment, conveniently, being forgot;

This may seem a depressing tale
but life’s pleasures do pass, its colours grow pale
so don’t keep on blaming the male
you nagged him into turning to ale
your girly wiles caused the marriage to fail
and now you feel the sting in the tail;

So why complain this far down the line?
you baked your cake and ignored the sign
that said “Danger ahead not just love divine”
you knew you couldn’t turn water to wine
so blame only yourself Shirley Valentine;

Now you want finest Blue Mountain coffee
but all you’ve got in your cup is cold tea
this reality is what you never wanted to see
the romance didn’t last for eternity
you think you can sail away over the sea
and find a romance that will, hopefully
be what you thought your first would be
and from the chores, to finally be free
love and fun without responsibility;

Mid forties causes us all some thought
of wondering why we’re out of sort
of heading away to a distant port
to put an end to being distraught
it may seem a life so sunny and fine
but are you doing a second time
committing again the pipe dream crime
of ignoring the truth and hoping sunshine
will finally make that water red wine?

you’ve just got to face up to what you know now
life has left a trace of pain in your brow
but by God’s good grace you will work out how
to give second place to the cause of the row
and let your other half tell, just how, he feels
of his days at work while you cooked the meals
and so too, for him, life turned a shade of grey
hoping to find more time, that he may
spend with the children and join in their play
but long hours at work means that there’s no way
from Monday to Friday done only for pay
each day the same leaves not much to say;

But pay is what puts the meals on the plate
and while they were hot, together you ate
he’s worked many long years since that first date
and now that he’s reaching birth’ day forty eight
don’t chalk up more blows, wipe clean the slate
tell him your woes before its too late
so when life slows and impending fate
the grim reaper sews, but you can elate
on how you found a return to the great
dream of youth, once a teenage wheeze
but now the truth, that life’s never a breeze,
will certainly teach, how you both can please
each other, and then you may reach
that Utopian life of contentment and ease
if you each, ditch your worries, shake off the fleas
and dream of a beach on the Dodecanese.

—Colin Hodgson, 1997.

I wrote this after I saw the film, “Shirley Valentine”.

Girls, poem, truth about women and post-feminist love, poetry.

poem featured Saturday, September 7, 2002